Having recently lost a teenager to suicide, I now have an opinion on the matter. However, I am in no way attempting to make myself an expert or a professional on the subject. What I do know is that I loved my son as much as I possibly knew how to and I miss him more than I thought I ever would.
Every teen suicide is unique for many reasons, the main one being that each 'victim' is uniquely different from all of the others. Also the circumstances surrounding each teen is different, ie, family, school, activities, relationships, and even the beliefs and mindset of each. For example, two teens committing suicide the same way are still almost completely different because of the factors driving the two and the circumstances surrounding them. Therefore, my grieving and even my counseling will be and should be different. The things that help and hurt me are not the same for the other fathers and mothers. I have seen this first-hand as I observe the way even my wife and I grieve the loss of our son.
I want to share in this blog that at this time in my grieving (about 6 months) I only have one question and that is, why? I will probably never know but will probably always ask. It is tough for me because my son left no note telling us why. All we have to go on is what we know about him, his friends, and his activities and even those don't lead us to the answers we would love to have. It would have been good for him to at least say goodbye, esp since I am convinced that he had planned this for some time. But because he never really did greet us coming or going, it's not so bad. So for me, not knowing is what hurts the most. For someone else that may be a source of comfort.
As someone who is learning how to feel, this makes me cry.
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